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10 Exercises To Improve Listening Skills
And Become An
Active Listener
Why do we need
exercises
to improve listening skills? Because we do, that's why. Because
practice makes perfect. How to improve listening skills? Just pay
attention and you will learn that. Listening skills are crucial if you
want to
have a good relationship with others. Some people have listening skills
while most don't have them (or at least they don't think they have any
listening skills). Actually, we all have listening skills, some more
than others, but we all have at least some skills, we just don't use
them often and they tend to get rusty over time. This is why we need
some listening skills exercises. Hopefully, by the end of this article,
you will realize the importance of listening.
So the question now is how to improve listening skills? Now, improving
listening skills is not an easy task, but it can be done.
Here are 10 of the most useful exercises to improve listening skills
(you can call them active listening activities):
Exercise to improve
listening skills no.1 The "don't interrupt" exercise.
Make a habit of
not
interrupting the person(s) that is/are talking to you. As simple as
this may seem, it is very important that you abide this rule. Just this
one thing, done right, represents a great exercise to improve your
listening skills. The main idea here is to remember that improving your
listening skills means to stop talking and paying attention to what
others are saying. Remember that you only learn new things if you shut
up and listen.
When you talk you learn almost nothing new. So, this is another good
reason why you should be quiet and listen to others without
interrupting. So if you were wondering how to improve listening skills,
now you know one way to do it.
Whenever you're in a discussion, let the speaker finish his statement
before trying to reply. If you absolutely need to interrupt the
speaker or maybe raise a point, you have to be patient until
you get a chance.
How
to improve your listening skills?
DO IT NOW! What to do today so
that this exercise really does improve your listening skills. This is why we call them active listening
activities, because they are active:
Take a notebook with you and write down all the discussions that you
have today. Write down for each discussion: what was the subject of it,
who talked more - you or the other person(s), what do you know more now
after this discussion, that you didn't know before. By writing all this
down for at least 5-6 discussions, you will know exactly what level of
listening skills you have at the moment.
For this exercise to give even
better results it is best that someone (your wife/husband,friend,etc)
is with you. This way, after you write down all of the above, the other
person can read that and tell you how much is true or not and this way
you will know were you are and in time you will begin to see the
improvements a lot easier. You have to be patient and do this exercise
at least 10 times to see some improvements, so go ahead and start now!
How to improve listening skills exercises no.2
Asking questions means paying attention and it is an essential part of the active listening activities.
A great exercise
to improve listening skills is to ask questions
throughout a conversation. Asking the right questions at the right time
is gold here. If you ask, people will know that you are listening to
what they are saying, you will keep a lively conversation, prevent any
possible misunderstandings and most importantly, you will develop your
listening skills.
Be careful not to overdo it on the questions though! If you pass a
certain number of questions, you will become annoying and no one will
want to talk to you in the future.
DO IT NOW! (active listening activities remember?) What to do today so
that this exercise really does improve your listening skills:
Set yourself a goal for today to ask a couple of questions on the first
conversation you participate in today. 3 to 6 questions is a reasonable
number to start with. After that, set a goal for the next week. Make it
a habit of yours to ask questions in every conversation. This way you
will learn new things and improve your listening skills as well.
When you ask questions, try not to ask more than one question at a time
so that the other person has time to respond to it. It is possible,
that the speaker may become silent for some time(this happens often in
a conversation). When this happens, do not try to rush and fill up the
silence. Instead, you should give the speaker a chance to compose
his/her thoughts.
Active listening
skills exercises for
improving listening skills no.3
"I see"
One of the
difference between hearing and listening is that when you are listening
you can try to give some acknowledgments,
from time to time, to the person that's talking so they know that you
are really listening. Words like "I see", "Aha...", "Yes", "I know", "I
understand", "I know the feeling", and you can name even more are of
great help.
You can even start to summarize
with your own words what you understood. Summarizing has its benefits
like preventing misunderstandings and keeping the liveliness of the
conversation. It prevents misunderstandings in the sense
that if you didn't understand something correctly, then the speaker can
set you straight after you summarize what was it that you understood.
Summarizing also keeps you implicated in the discussion by preventing
your attention from wondering far away.
Make people do what you
want
Become a persuasive person and stop letting
people get the better of you!
Get your child to listen
the first time
you ask
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familly
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want
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How
to improve your listening skills?
DO IT NOW! What
to do today so that this exercise really does improve your listening
skills:
Make it one of your habits to use acknowledgments and to summarize
conversations. Try this in any discussion and you and the others around
you will see improvements in your listening skills.
Exercise to improve
listening skills no.4 Are you willing to become a good listener?
You have to know
that there are some difference between hearing and listening. If you
want to
have good listening skills you first have to willing to
take the steps involved, to be willing to make the effort. Nothing is
free, and gaining listening skills doesn't make any difference. If you
are willing that's great, but if you're not, maybe the next benefits of
having good listening skills will change your mind.
4 great benefits of
being a good listener (why you
should be improving listening skills):
1. If you learn how to listen to others, the others will listen to what
you have to say as well, they will respect you because you show respect
to them by listening. You're words will have a greater influence on
other people. This is a great thing! Just imagine having a greater
influence on your children, friends, family, work colleagues. Wouldn't
this be wonderful?
2. By being a good listener, you can learn more about the people you
talk to, you can make new friends and have a better life, both personal
and
professional. What if you could be good friends with almost everyone
you talk to? How would you feel if your boss was your friend? How about
your neighbors, colleagues or even customers? It can all be possible
if you only listen to others more.
3. By becoming a good listener you could even improve existent
relationships.
When people will see that you've become more attentive to what they say
they
will treat you better and you will then realize the importance of
listening. Just think: wouldn't you treat someone better if
they were listening to you and support you?
4. Having good listening skills will help you improve conversation
skills.
This way you will be able to avoid a lot of misunderstandings or
confusions. You could also stop possible conflicts even before they
start. As you see there are some important benefits of being a good
listener, and I'm sure you can dig out more if you try. You should
always remember that by doing active listening activities you will
become better and better at this. So, what are you waiting for? You
should be out there, improving listening skills right now?
How
to improve your listening skills?
DO IT NOW! What
to do today so that this exercise really does improve your listening
skills:
Start changing the way that you listen to people. Pay more attention to
them and try to understand what they are really trying to say. The more
you care about them the more they will care for you. There is an old
saying that goes like this: "You get hungry while eating." and this
goes for willingness too.
You will become more willing to improve your listening skills by having
more and more conversations. Just try paying attention and carrying
about others and you will feel a huge difference in time.
Exercise to improve
listening skills no.5 Keep your eyes on the "ball"
The difference
between hearing and listening is that one is active while the other one
isn't. So pay attention
only to what the speaker has to say. If you focus only on
the speaker and what he/her is talking about and not trying to make up
your own replies, you will gain more from the conversation. Also, by
doing so, you won't miss a lot of things the speaker might say.
How
to improve listening skills today?
DO IT NOW! What
to do today so that this exercise really does improve your listening
skills:
This is one of the very
interesting listening skills exercises. Do the following with the
first person that you talk to after reading this: focus completely on
that person, don't allow your thoughts to run away, keep your eyes and
ears on what the person is saying. Ask him/her questions about what
they've said. You will be amazed at how happy you will make that person
after you've had your little talk. If the conversation is a short one,
try to find someone else and have a longer conversation so that this
exercise is effective.
Active listening
skills exercises no.6 Respect
me and I will respect you as well.
It is important
that you show and have respect for the speaker. If you
respect the other person you will pay more attention to him/her. On the
other hand, if you don't respect the person that much, you won't be
very attentive.
If you make this a habit, I mean respecting people, you will see that
those people (most of them) will give you a higher level of respect as
well. You first have to give so that you can receive.
How
to improve listening skills today?
DO IT NOW! What
to do today so that this exercise really does improve your listening
skills:
Make a conscious effort to develop a genuine interest for others and
what they have to say. We all are special in our own way and we can all
learn from each other. Try to consider every people that you talk to, a
good friend of yours. How would you treat a friend? That's right, you
would pay attention to that friend because you like him/her, you enjoy
spending time together, etc.
Try to do this with anyone. It might be a little hard at first, and for
some people you may not be able to feel the same as you would to a
friend, but, please, give your best at it. And try and try again, and
again, and again... Improving your listening skills is not easy but
it's more than worth it.
Exercise to improve
listening skills no.7 Repeat it and write it down.
In the middle of
a conversation, the speaker might say something very
interesting for you. You want to remember that but you also want to pay
attention to what the speaker is currently saying, so what do you do?
You repeat that information. Immediately. Out loud. Read the following
to see an example.
How
to improve listening skills today? A way to start improving listening skills
is to: DO IT NOW! What
to do today so that this exercise really does improve your listening
skills:
You can use this as a helper: "Did I understand this right? Did you
just say that ....." This way you will re-repeat the information and
you will also make the other person repeat it again (in some cases, the
speaker will only say yes and move on - this is why you can
deliberately repeat the information with a little error in it. This way
you can be sure that the other person will repeat it as well. It's
almost 100% guaranteed!).
Also, if you want to be even more sure that you will remember the
information, as soon as you get the chance, write it down on a piece of
paper.
Active listening
skills exercises no.8 Keep eye
contact
Active listening
skills
exercises don't just mean that all you have to is to be a good
listener. It also means that you need to keep your eyes on the person
which is talking. Keep eye contact
at all times. It's very important that you do this
because this way the conversations will be more pleasant and you and
the speaker will learn
a lot from each other.
How
to improve listening skills today?
DO IT NOW! What
to do today so that this exercise really does improve your listening
skills:
The next time you talk to others, face the speaker and watch them in
the eye. What you say will make a greater impact on people if you keep
eye contact. Also do this when the speaker is talking. This way, he/her
will feel appreciated and respected.
Exercise to improve
listening skills no.9 Feedback Time
It is very
important (and I recommend this) to give feedback to people,
especially if they ask for it. Sometimes people won't ask for this, but
if you feel that you've had a pleasant conversation with someone and
you have something to say, then give feedback to that person.
How to improve your
listening skills?
DO IT NOW! What
to do today so that this exercise really does improve your listening
skills:
If you have something good to say, something that you liked about the
other person or the way he/she talked, always say it. Don't keep that
all for yourself. Anyone likes to be complimented and if you liked
something it's much better to say it loud.
What do I do if I have some negative feedback? If you didn't like
something, you have two options: you can either keep it to yourself
(some things are better left unsaid), or if you just have to say it, do
it in a smoother way. Don't just throw it out as if you didn't care
about the person's feelings. Be gentle, say something good about the
person and then point out what you wanted to say. Here's an example:
Let's say that you've just had a conversation with a good friend about
a tv commercial. You both liked one commercial, but you don't agree
with something
that your friend said. How do you tell him this without making him
angry? Say something like: "Hey, John I really liked having this talk
with you. I always enjoy talking about tv commercials with you because
you're a funny guy. I agree about what you said earlier ...., and I
also feel that ....(here will be the "negative" feedback - as smoother
as you can).
Active listening
skills exercises no.10 Be
yourself
It is very
important that you feel good in a conversation. You must be
relaxed and comfortable. This way, the chances are that you will be
more attentive to the speaker. If you feel some sort of discomfort, you
won't be able to pay attention to the discussion.
How to improve listening skills today? A
way to start improving listening skills is to: DO IT NOW! What
to do today so that this exercise really does improve your listening
skills:
Start having conversations with people that you feel comfortable
talking to. Use all the knowledge you've gathered from this article. By
first talking to people
that you feel good with, you will make this a little test for future
times when you will talk to other people. Once you start paying
attention to people you will realize the importance of listening to
others.
If you use all of these active listening activities/listening skills
exercises you will improve your listening
skills and you will become an active listener. People will enjoy
talking to you and you will have a greater influence on others. Your
whole life will improve, but it's not enough that you've read
"Listening skills exercises -
10 Exercises to Improve Listening Skills and Become an Active
Listener",
you have to read it again, write down what you think is important for
you
and start using it until it becomes a habit for you.
Thank you for reading this article and I hope it will help you improve
your listening skills and your life!
I embrace you,
Razvan
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